Chapter 3: The Other Side Of A Heart Of Steel

 

It’s the day of the career observation.

According to the calendar, it’s Monday, June 10th.

I was thrilled from the morning, knowing I’d get to visit a game company as I’d hoped. Meeting up with Chikage, Tsu-chan, and Sakurako, the four of us head to the nearest station.

“Yo, Kyosaka-shi. Thriving as ever with the three princesses, I see. Nothing could be better, eh?”

“Morning, you two. Still as close as ever, huh?”

Arriving at the T03 station of the Kyoto Subway Tozai Line, Ishida-kun and Misasagi-san greet us.

After a quick exchange of hellos, we board the local train.

Swaying gently for about twenty minutes, we get off at the station nearest to our destination and walk ten minutes to a sleek, modern building.

“We’re from Touryo High School, here for the career observation today.”

After greeting the receptionist on the first floor, we’re led by a staff member to an office on the fourth floor.

Diamond Notes Co., Ltd.’s game brand, pneuma. It’s a well-known name in the industry, producing romance adventure games that even got an anime adaptation. The office has a clean, upscale vibe with a calm atmosphere. The spacious floor is divided by glass partitions, neatly organizing meeting rooms and workspaces.

“Wow… that’s amazing. Is that the new YOULAND series?”

“Probably the after-story focusing on Sorami Tsubasa. The announcement’s next month, I think.”

“Heh, my fave’s Tsubasa too. It’s gotta be her, right?”

“Tch, tch, tch, don’t you wanna root for the underdog, Tsukino?”

“I’m Team Mocchy.”

“No, that’s a mochi. It’s a mascot, not a heroine.”

Chikage, Sakurako, and Tsu-chan eagerly eye a promotional poster for a new game plastered on the office wall.

“You guys know your stuff, huh?”

The female staff member guiding us smiles, clearly impressed.

“We’re fans, y’know.”

Tsu-chan flashes a grin back at her.

“That’s great to hear. We don’t often get students, especially girls, who are so familiar with our games, so it’s really appreciated.”

Familiar? They’re probably taking notes for their own work. It’s hard to tell from their appearance, but Chikage, Tsu-chan, and Sakurako are creators in a well-known circle. Ishida-kun and Misasagi-san seem pretty savvy about games and anime too, chatting away with the guide. As for me… ugh, I really need to study up. I can’t keep up with their conversation at all.

My morning excitement has vanished, replaced by a creeping sense of alienation.

(…I’ve gotta absorb at least one thing before we leave.)

The guide leads us to a sectioned-off area behind glass partitions, where we observe employees working on game development.

Planning concepts.

Drafting specifications.

Writing scenarios.

Testing in the test booth.

Debugging for errors or glitches.

Each process is divided, all coming together to create a single game.

The whole flow is fascinating and incredibly educational.

“We’ll take a one-hour break now. You’re welcome to have lunch on the rooftop, or there’s a cafeteria on the second floor. Feel free to spend the time as you like. Please gather back here at 1 p.m.”

We part ways with the guide and head down to the second floor.

I glance at the cafeteria menu—udon, soba, curry, set meals, and more.

“Wow… so this is what a company cafeteria’s like? I’ve always been curious.”

“Me too, me too!”

“Hmm, I’ll go with soba. What about you, Maya?”

“I’ll have the same as Mitsunari.”

We each settle into a corner of the orderly cafeteria.

“Sorry, guys. I brought a bento, so I’ll eat on the rooftop.”

I could eat here, but I’m a bit self-conscious about the employees’ eyes, so I tell everyone and head out without sitting down.

“Aww, Kei, just eat with us here.”

“If Okei-han wants to do that, let him. So, Chikage, what’re you ordering?”

Tsu-chan hands Chikage a menu labeled Weekly Menu, steering the conversation elsewhere.

“Hmm… A-set. Hey, Kei, hurry back, okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be back right after I eat.”

From the rooftop, I can see the cityscape of Shimogyo Ward spread out below.

Amid the mix of modern buildings and traditional houses, Kyoto Tower stands tall.

“Kei-kun.”

“Whoa…!”

Startled by the sudden voice, I turn to see Sakurako standing there.

“It stings when you react like that.”

“S-Sorry. Uh, you’re not eating?”

“Skipping a meal or two isn’t a big deal. More importantly, I want to be by your side, Kei-kun. Over there.”

“Th-There? Uh, okay.”

Sakurako gently takes my hand and leads me to a corner of the rooftop.

Behind the shadow of the tower, near a few air conditioning units.

The two of us sit on the concrete floor.

“Chikage and Tsukasa probably wanted to be by your side too.”

Sakurako leans her head on my shoulder. Her lustrous Somayoshino-colored hair brushes my cheek, and the faint scent of soap wafts over me. Feeling her warmth directly, I open my bento box.

“That’s an honor, I guess.”

“Kei-kun, that’s not what I’m talking about.”

“Hm?”

“We say we want to monopolize you, but we have an unspoken rule against obvious moves to steal you away. With that in mind, being allowed to be alone with you right now means I’m currently falling behind Chikage and Tsukasa.”

“I… don’t think that’s true.”

“Kei-kun, it’s my intuition. You’ve probably redrawn a line you once set, creating a new boundary with Chikage and Tsukasa. There’s no other explanation.”

“…Huh?”

Is Sakurako some kind of psychic?

It’s not just intuition—her sharp deduction nails my recent actions perfectly.

“…Y-Yeah. Something… like that, I guess.”

“Honesty is good. If it’s your decision, I’ll respect it. But I never expected you to break the taboo, Kei-kun.”

Sakurako tightly grips my arm, pulling me closer.

Her missile-grade bust, the most formidable in school, presses against me, stretching the pale pink fabric of her knit top. …Thump, thump! My heart leaps unnaturally.

“S-Sakurako-san… at a career observation, maybe we should, uh, keep the physical stuff to a minimum…”

“That’s a tough request. It’s your fault for breaking the taboo, Kei-kun.”

“…Y-Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I didn’t consult you and acted on my own.”

“It’s fine. I respect your choices. So? By bending the rules of being a kept man, what were you trying to gain?”

Through her lenses, Sakurako’s gaze is piercingly direct.

“…It’s hard to put into words. Since when did you notice, Sakurako?”

“I can’t pinpoint an exact day. I just inferred from your actions. Since you seem to have forgotten, let me remind you: I was the one who first planted the idea of role-playing in you. In the library, you were the protagonist, and I was the heroine. You should remember.”

—Thump. My heart skips a beat. This leap feels different from usual.

“By applying that, you could shift into being our pseudo-boyfriend or any other role with Chikage and Tsukasa. If you thought I wouldn’t notice you exploiting that with them, that’s arrogance.”

…I haven’t forgotten. In the library, helping Sakurako with her stalled scenario, I did play the role of a galge protagonist. But my ability to pull off Himo’s ACT (role-playing) came from secret training with Akari and Kasumi-chan.

Sakurako doesn’t know that backstory. Yet, her tone makes it clear she anticipated I’d reach this point.

“I-It’s not exploiting or anything…”

“There’s nothing more terrifying than unconscious intent. Even if you think you’re just acting, there’s a chance Chikage and Tsukasa could misinterpret it and spiral off in unintended directions.”

“…Th-That’s… You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Sakurako’s point hits the mark.

“It’s fine. I forgive you. I wouldn’t get mad over something like that.”

Sakurako smiles faintly.

“It’s not just you, Kei-kun. People live by hiding their true selves. You should understand that.”

“Y-Yeah. Like… wearing a persona, right?”

“Exactly. Men put on airs to impress women. They pretend to be uninterested to play games. Women act coy with cold hearts or get drunk on depending on so-called scum. Everyone’s role-playing, masking their true selves.”

It’s a clear metaphor, but I’m still not quite getting it.

What is Sakurako trying to tell me?

“Your reason for redrawing that line, for acting differently—it’s probably simple. It’s for Chikage and Tsukasa. You wanted to become the ideal role they desire. Am I wrong?”

I set my chopsticks down, absorbed in Sakurako’s words.

I nod along without realizing it.

“That’s your true intent, your essence. Always acting for someone else, prioritizing their feelings even at your own expense. But that approach has its limits.”

“L-Limits…?”

“You’re a boy, Kei-kun. Body and soul. You might think you’re suppressing your desires or compartmentalizing them, but those feelings are piling up in your storage. One day, they’ll overflow.”

As the saying goes, even dust piles up. Sakurako’s not entirely wrong. …I’m a guy too. I don’t know when my rationality might hit its limit.

“Kei-kun, I understand you better than Chikage or Tsukasa. I won’t beg for that. As long as we don’t cross that line, you won’t refuse my requests. That’s my understanding.”

…Thump! My heart leaps again.

The blunt mention of that makes my ears burn.

“You’ve sinned by trying to overstep the bounds of a kept man. You should atone with your body.”

“…S-Sin? I-I don’t get what’s sinful here…”

“You gave me a choice. I’m loyal to you, Kei-kun, and I’ll match your pace. So if you bend that line, I’ll adapt. My deeper understanding of you is my weapon. The ideal role I want you to play is master.”

“…I-I get your point. But… why master? Isn’t, like, spending time as lovers enough?”

“That’s not bad either. But the real thing outshines the fake. This request itself is a compromise, knowing we can’t be official lovers yet. A pretend relationship is boring. If you want to be a versatile kept man, experiencing a unique dynamic only possible now—that’s the kind of woman I am.”

I see. Once I save enough for Akari’s college and graduate from being a kept man, we could become lovers anytime. But right now, as kept man and employer, Sakurako wants to experience this quirky dynamic.

“B-But… why master? Isn’t there, like, something else!?”

“It’s more interesting this way. You as the master, me as the servant. You as the strong, me as the weak. I’ll obey your every command. Through this reversal of our kept man-employer roles, I’m endlessly curious about what orders you’ll give me.”

“…Th-Then I’ll give one order. Let’s eat this bento together.”

“Rejected.”

“W-What kind of servant are you!?”

“Bad news for you, Kei-kun. I have a magic phrase to snap you back to reality.”

…Gulp. I swallow hard.

Sakurako whispers in my ear:

“This is part of the job.”

…That’s not just bad news—it’s a curse.

No matter how much I hide my true self, it’s a line I can never bend.

The clear boundary between kept man and employer.

Yet, Sakurako demands we distort that dynamic.

“…Hey, Sakurako. During the pool cleaning, why did you put yourself on the line to protect me?”

“That’s a sudden topic shift.”

“I want to know. I… want to understand your true intentions. You know this dynamic… isn’t what I want, right?”

“Simple answer. Only Chikage, Tsukasa, and I are allowed to hurt you. That’s all.”

“Got it. Then fine… If it’s a wound from you, I’d welcome it.”

My tone might’ve come off a bit sulky.

I can be stubborn too, you know.

“That sounds like a line I’ve heard before.”

“…”

“It’s obvious I’m provoking you. You know that, don’t you?”

“…Maybe.”

“Then you have the right to let your emotions explode. Give me your orders. Do as you please.”

“If that’s what you want, I’ll do it. You’re trying to let me vent what I’ve bottled up, right? …Even playing the villain for Chikage and Tsukasa.”

“Kei-kun, peeking into my heart is forbidden. Keep pretending to be clueless and love me.”

“Is that an order as my employer…? If so, I’ll obey, Sakurako.”

“You’re the one giving orders. I’ll follow them.”

This battle of wills has turned into playful banter.

“Sakurako… I just want to hear your true feelings.”

“That’s the one thing I can’t tell you, Kei-kun. If I open Pandora’s box, it’ll upend this entire dynamic. But staying like this will inevitably lead to a Dutch roll. So, I’ll give you one hint.”

…A hint? So she’s not provoking me to vent on behalf of Chikage and Tsukasa?

“Your assumptions are fundamentally wrong.”

“…Huh? W-Wrong?”

“Obviously. I’m not a babysitter for Chikage, Tsukasa, or you.”

Sakurako doesn’t bluff or play crude tricks.

That’s exactly why I’m so confused.

“…Th-That’s the only hint?”

“That was the plan. But as a special treat, I’ll add this: I just want you to direct your desires at me in the form of ‘orders.’ Not for anyone else’s sake. I want it for myself. That’s the most I can offer.”

A clear answer emerges from a labyrinthine problem.

While hiding her true feelings, she wants to reverse our master-servant dynamic.

That’s what Sakurako is saying.

I want to know the emotions beneath it all. But that’s the one thing she won’t share.

…Then, for now, I have to be satisfied with that… right? Yeah.

“O-Okay… I won’t ask any more.”

“That’s my Kei-kun. Lunch break’s almost over. I’m dying to see what orders you’ll give me.”

“…Wh-What’s the order?”

“Make it intense. No half-hearted commands.”

Can you believe it?

—Being ordered to give the kind of orders she wants.

It’s the height of confusion. Intense, she says…

For some reason, I feel like this is a line I shouldn’t cross. But no matter how much I think it over, it all boils down to that cursed phrase, “part of the job.”

…I have to fulfill Sakurako’s wishes.

Just as my barely-held-together rationality starts to melt under the buttery temptation of her sweet words—

Bang! The rooftop door swings open.

“Kei-kun, shh. Someone’s here.”

“Mmph.”

Sakurako pulls my head into her chest. We’re hidden behind the tower, out of sight from the entrance, but the sound confirms someone’s on the rooftop.

“…S-Sakurako, we’re running late. Maybe Chikage or Tsukasa came looking for us…”

“Quite possible.”

Sakurako releases me, and we cautiously peek from behind the tower.

Probably an employee. A man in casual clothes leans against the railing at a scenic spot, talking on his smartphone.

“Not Chikage, it seems.”

“A familiar face.”

As expected from her perfect vision. Even from a distance, Sakurako can clearly make out the man’s face. We visited various booths in the office this morning, so it could be an employee we passed by.

“Definitely familiar. Maki Shuu, a game scenario writer. Also a renowned lyricist and composer.”

“A scenario writer? So, someone in the same field as you?”

“His games are mainstream; I’m indie. As scenario writers, we’re worlds apart. Even adding my light novel writer title, I can’t touch Maki-san’s fame.”

“W-Wow… he’s a big deal, huh?”

“A creator considered a legend in the industry. The pneuma brand’s strength owes much to Maki-san’s fame and achievements.”

Apparently, he’s quite the celebrity. According to Sakurako, he’s been involved in countless hit game titles.

“Yo, Maki here. Thanks as always. Work? It’s going decently. Personal life? Eh, decent too.”

While chatting with his call partner about work, Maki-san leans on the railing and starts puffing on an e-cigarette.

“Nah, no rivals here. My circle’s just a hobby. Doujin games these days—if you make ’em too heavy, people get annoyed. It’s like MyTube with short videos, you know? That’s the vibe. Low budget, quick, and spicy—that’s the current doujin game scene.”

Budget, right? Like funding or expenses.

“Mellow? Oh, the circle with the stunning girls selling at Comiket every year?”

I never expected Mellow to come up here.

Sakurako seems just as shocked as I am.

“The sellers are you guys, right?”

“Mahiro-san. Chikage’s older sister does the selling. We’re still minors, so we don’t show our faces much. For all-ages versions, we might help out, but Mahiro-san handles everything outside creation. By the way, Mahiro-san’s ten times prettier than Chikage.”

T-Ten times? That’s beyond just pretty at that point.

From the conversation, it sounds like Maki-san’s being asked about his privately-run circle by an acquaintance.

“Yeah, their level’s high. KOMATI-sensei’s art is top-notch. Even in-house, we talk about scouting that artist.”

KOMATI. That’s Tsu-chan’s pen name as an illustrator.

“The voice acting’s so good you’d think they pulled from a major agency. It’s way beyond doujin game level. But honestly, their scenarios? Total miss. The writer’s top-tier as a novelist—could hit it big writing novels, maybe already has.”

I listen to Maki-san’s call in stunned silence.

A total miss on scenarios. Of course, Maki-san has no idea that Sakurako, Mellow’s scenario writer, is right here.

It feels like a spear pierced my heart… If I feel this way, what about Sakurako?

“Like I said, 18+ doujin games are about being quick and practical. That’s the modern demand. Heavy scenarios might’ve been novel at first, but after a few, they get old. Their platform rankings dropping is proof enough. Mellow’s writer doesn’t get that line and leaves users behind. …Yeah, yeah, alright. Catch you at the next meeting.”

Ending the call, Maki-san puts away his e-cigarette, turns on his heel, and heads toward the tower.

We hold our breath, hiding in the shadows. We stay like that for a while.

In moments like this, I don’t even know what to say.

“S-Sakurako… you okay?”

“It’s not your concern, Kei-kun. It’s just someone else’s opinion. I don’t care. Break’s almost over. Let’s head back down.”

As expected, Sakurako’s strong.

Without so much as a raised eyebrow, she states it calmly and pulls my hand to start walking.

Bento box in my left hand, my right pulled by Sakurako.

As we leave the rooftop, a thought hits me.

—I’m a little scared to let go of this hand.

Career observation over, we head home together.

After saying “see you tomorrow” to Ishida-kun and Misasagi-san, Sakurako, Chikage, Tsu-chan, and I walk slowly from the local station to the apartment. Sakurako seems no different from usual, chatting casually with Chikage and Tsu-chan.

I gaze at Sakurako’s back, recalling Maki-san’s call…

“Total miss on scenarios.”

“Doesn’t get the line, leaves users behind.”

…I hope Sakurako’s heart isn’t hurt.

She never speaks her true feelings… I have no way of knowing the backside of her steel heart.