Chapter 41: Special

Let’s all go out as a family on Sunday. It was Nina who suggested it. It seemed she had already gotten approval from everyone else, so just a nod from me confirmed the plan.

Our destination is a secret. Only Nina and Mitsuru seem to know where we’re going, so I figured I just needed to follow along. This is the first time for such a situation, and I can feel the growth of the two.

I thought it might be better to talk after we get back.
After we have lunch, we leave the house a little later.

“Everyone, follow me today.”

Nina leads at the front, with the family following behind her.
It seems quite natural now to see Mutsuki with Mitsuru. I hold hands with the spoiled twins. Lately, they’ve been quite mischievous too, and if I show a moment’s lapse, they start climbing up on me from both sides. It’s unbearably cute.

Before reaching our destination, we stop by a supermarket. While I wait outside with Sena and Seika, Nina and the others come out with flowers.

“Flowers?”
“Yes, flowers.”

There seemed to be no mistake about what they were for.

Holding them against her chest, Nina starts walking again. It’s not in the direction of the station. Without hesitation, she heads toward somewhere where there’s nothing much around. Nobody finds that strange. Sena and Seika tighten their grip on my hand. Even Mutsuki is unusually quiet today.

We pass through the residential area and climb a hill. There’s only one thing up there.

A temple quietly overlooking the town. Beside it, a cemetery using the mountain slope.

“………”

Standing still, Sena and Seika pull my hand.

“Ik-kun.”
“Ik-kun.”

Their voices, usually harmonized, are separate today. It’s not just me; everyone’s expressions are tense. Even Mutsuki, young as he is, seems to sense something.

Meeting Nina’s gaze as she turns back. The reason she brought me here today was—

“Let’s go, Itsuki-nii.”
“Yes, let’s.”

With a smile, I begin to walk slowly.

I have been here twice. The second time, it was just me. It was during a season when fingers would grow numb. It has only been about half a year since then.

The Isshiki family doesn’t have individual graves.
There is a uniquely shaped, large gravestone in the spacious cemetery. It’s not just my parents. Many people rest here in a communal grave.

Probably the only ones with memories of this place are Nina, Mitsuru, and me. The others were too young, and even if they remember, it’s most likely vague.

Standing in front, Nina and Mitsuru carry on.

“…Good, it’s kept clean. Can we change the flowers?”
“Yeah, it’s a bit wilted… Let’s leave just those that are fresh.”

“Okay. I’ll do this side, Mitsuru, prepare the incense.”
“Sure. Let’s see if this match works—ah, looks good.”

I kept turning away. I was hiding my eyes.
Because I didn’t want to make anyone sad. Because I didn’t want to feel sad myself.

I walked around pretending like my parents were never there in the first place. I was desperate to erase their traces because I couldn’t wait to forget. Filling my mind with busyness and anxiety made it not so difficult.
But pretending it was never there doesn’t make it disappear.
If we keep turning away, we’ll never be able to grow up.

Incense smoke rises, enveloping us in its gentle aroma as it honors the dead.

“Join your hands.”

Following Nina’s example, we all join our hands and close our eyes.

I alone kept my eyes open, staring at the grave. Not just father and mother—many rest there.

I’m not asking for apologies.
Just to watch over us. Us who have come this far. Us who will continue moving forward.

I join my hands and close my eyes.

This is not a dungeon. It’s a world without magic, where the existence of souls is unknown. I deeply feel the inadequacy of my own strength and the reassuring presence of my family by my side.

I was the last to open my eyes.

In front of me stood Mutsuki, flanked by Nina and Mitsuru. To my sides were Sena and Seika.

What’s most important to me is the family I see before my eyes.

“Tell us, Itsuki-nii. We’ll all listen to what you want to do.”

Nina seemed to have noticed something. There’s no hiding from her keen perception. I figured she’d find out someday, but I didn’t expect to be asked like this.

Inhale. Exhale.

Talking with Lila made me realize.
All I was doing was rejecting death. I wasn’t seeking life.
I was only staring into that dark abyss, blind to the light right in front of me.

“I—enjoy dungeons. Living a normal life, there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do… but I was never the best at anything. But with magic, maybe I can become the best. Probably, in the future, I won’t have anything else that I can have such expectations for myself.”

I’ve always thought I was rather handy. I could do many things and had few weaknesses. That’s why I admired those with exceptional talent.

“I want to see the end. I want to see sights unknown to anyone. That is… my dream.”

Saying it out loud, its grandness almost makes me laugh dryly.

In a casual tone, Mitsuru says,

“Seems fine by me. If it’s you, you’d manage.”
“Itsuki-nii, we can see you accomplishing it.”

“Then what’s the worry? If you can reach it, why not stretch out your hand?”
“It’s not about reaching or not. If Itsuki-nii gets hurt, everyone would be troubled—that’s why he’s been keeping quiet, right?”

“What does that matter? Am I… ignoring you while you endure… just doing what I want… hey, brother!”

Tears streaming down, Mitsuru approaches, looking directly at me. His eyes seem almost glaring.

“Why do you always give up on yourself…?”
“Because giving up has solved many problems.”

Ignoring what I wanted to do and doing things I disliked got me praise. I wanted to be praised by adults, seen as a good person, and believed giving up was right.

But my family wouldn’t accept that.
Nina looks at me too.

“If Itsuki-nii gives up, I don’t want to go to high school either.”
“Please go. Mitsuru, keep up with your club too.”

I rest my hand on the back of my neck and shake it side to side.

They’re competitive, so to speak. To that extreme, they’re like me, or should I say.

“Recently, I made a friend. An orphan, famously born in a dungeon, not fitting well in this world, living over there. She said that people’s will is carried on, that she moves forward with the will of her family who’s gone.”

Thanks to Lila, I realized that Nina was worried about me. That she had seen through what I sought to suppress. Her support, attempting to hold up more than I could ever imagine now.

In a year or two, when Mitsuru graduates from middle school, they’ll surely be even more reliable. The period where I must be present isn’t eternal.

But that’s not what it’s about.

I, myself, wish to be here. Dying is scary, lacking reality in it.
I well know the pain of those being left behind. I’ve not lived where leaving others behind is an everyday reality.

I understand her reasoning. I can empathize. But applying it to myself is different. I was born on Earth, raised in Japan, where peace is commonplace.

Yet, Lila’s words struck a chord.

The reason is—

“I realized, if there’s someone who can take over, I could even quit being an adventurer.”

A silence descended.

Mitsuru and Nina blinked repeatedly, mouths agape. In times like this, they strongly resembled each other.

“Huh?”
“What?”

“Is it okay to quit?”
“Being an adventurer?”

The two tilt their heads to the same side. Even Sena, Seika, and Mutsuki wear puzzled expressions.

“Yeah, adventurer. ‘Quit’ might’ve been too much.”
““Why!?””

“Well… it’s a dream and I don’t want to give up, but looking around the world, there’d be many more talented than me, and if not now, in the future… Ultimately, it needn’t be me.”

Refusing to ponder, with passions simmering, I almost lost sight of what’s important.

“But being the eldest son of the Isshiki family, only I can do.”

Keeping my eyes on the distance, I wouldn’t have realized.

It isn’t just roles. Even dreams can be entrusted to someone. It feels liberating. Lila will carry on. Even if I choose to stop, she can reach farther.

If I push them forward, both Nina and Mitsuru will surely carry on that will.

“That doesn’t solve anything. If Itsuki-nii keeps enduring, nothing’s changed.”
“So, I thought of a condition.”

To the family here, to the parents not here, I declare clearly.

“A bit down the line, there’ll be an event where adventurers gather from all over Japan. If I can’t be number one there, this dream is over.”

My family isn’t so weak that they can’t live without me.
So, their weakness won’t be my reason to give up.

◆

I’m ready for it to end.
But I have no intentions of ending.

So—

“Let’s go, Undead King.”

With the hood pulled low over my eyes, I dash through the abandoned city at night.
To me, winter and night are the same.