Chapter 11

Mother’s curse, child’s karma

(…Huh??)

What did Felix-sama just say?

(As queen… support Onee-sama?)

Unless I misheard, it sounded like he said I should support Onee-sama as queen.

No way.
No way… I must have misheard, right!?

Forcing a strained smile, I asked Felix-sama,

“…Pardon, but what did you just say?”

“I’m not that heartless.”

Oh no, we’re not even on the same page.

Felix-sama, looking pensive, rested his forehead on his clasped hands.
His anguish was painfully obvious.

“Felicia, I couldn’t come to love you, but that doesn’t mean I’ve come to hate you.”

He’s… saying something.

At this point, I gave up on communicating with him.
I have a really bad feeling about this.

What’s with this self-absorbed guy?

He’s giving off this “I’m torn apart by fate…!!” aura.

Despite his earnestness, my heart grows colder by the second.
I’m glad Felix-sama is looking down right now.
Otherwise, he’d surely notice.

The icy, cold look in my eyes at this moment.
Just like when I spoke with Father the other day.

“You’re just like your mother…!!”

(…Just like Mother, huh.)

For some reason, Father’s words came to mind.

…Will I end up like Mother?

Days spent being treated as if I don’t exist by my husband.
Father holds no hostility or malice toward Mother, but no interest either.
Days of being ignored, like air, every single day.

Unilaterally resenting her husband’s lover’s daughter, yet unable to do anything openly.
Pretending to act with dignity, desperately clinging to the last scraps of pride, every single day.

It must wear her heart down terribly.
It must be exhausting.

Mother is afraid.

Afraid that one day, her husband will completely abandon her.

Yet, Mother can’t forgive Father.
So, she’s been silently protesting him for years.

Caught in such contradictory emotions, Mother has been suffering all this time.
Unable to let go of everything, yet unable to accept it either.

Will I become like Mother—

That thought sent a chill down my spine.
Because that future was far too easy to imagine.

(…No way.)

I thought, clearly.

I don’t want to be dragged into someone else’s romance and end up in a miserable situation.
Nor do I want to clash with negative emotions and end up suffering… Both are unacceptable.

If that’s the case, this engagement must be dissolved, no matter what.
There’s no happiness for me in the future of this engagement, in a marriage with Felix-sama.

Stunned by how easily I could envision that future, I was interrupted as Felix-sama lifted his face, perhaps done with his “poor me” moment.

“Felicia?”

Called by a voice that seemed to regard something strange, I snapped back to reality.
I lifted my face.
Our eyes met.

My face must be awfully pale right now.
Felix-sama furrowed his brow and said,

“…Are you feeling unwell? I’m sorry. This must be hard for you to accept. But please understand. My fated person is Agnes.”

My fiancé, who keeps repeating “fated person” over and over.

I couldn’t help but want to splash the tea in my cup on him.
I desperately suppressed that urge.

(Endure… You can endure this, it’s fine. Compared to the complainers I dealt with in my past life, this is nothing. He’s not denying my entire personality or threatening to kill me.)

I recalled the four worst complainers from my past life.

The filthy customer who demanded medical and compensation fees after tripping in the store (clearly their own fault with just a scratch).

The filthy customer who complained I was “slacking” for hydrating at the register (in the summer, telling me not to drink water for hours? I’d die of heatstroke).

The filthy customer who ate their entire hamburger, then called me over to yell that it was “raw!!” (You finished it, didn’t you?!)…!!

And then, snap! I remembered something else.
A new fact from my past life’s memories.

(I was told to quit my job because my “voice was unpleasant”…!!)

Like a revelation, I remembered.
It was during my university days, working as a call center operator.
Someone said my voice was so grating and irritating that I should quit.
They even said I wasn’t suited for the job and suggested I change careers.

(With my utter lack of professional experience, I didn’t know how to respond, so I ended up saying, “Thank you for your valuable opinion.” Both of us were like, “???”…)

Recalling the awful complaints I dealt with in my past life, I gradually calmed down.
It’s okay. At least Felix-sama isn’t criticizing my personality, slandering me, threatening murder, or extorting me…
He’s far better than those malicious complainers, yeah.

By convincing myself of that, I somehow managed to suppress my impulses.,

Felix-sama looked at me and gave a wry smile.

“Even at a time like this, you’re the same as always.”

“—”

My eyes widened.

(Because there’s no point in getting emotional, is there?)

“You’re just like your mother…!!”

Father’s voice echoed in my mind again.

“As you know, Agnes is frail. She couldn’t handle being queen.”

“…”

So, what should I do?
Should I give in to my emotions and wail?

What would that accomplish?
I’d lose more than I’d gain.

I have my own pride, however small and trivial it may be.
I don’t want to cry and cling to a man I don’t even love.

What value is there in a position won through pity?
What would it amount to?

…What should I do?

I tightly clenched my hands on my lap.

As I looked down, my fiancé’s merciless words rang in my ears.

“That’s why, Felicia. I want you to support her.”