Chapter 7

What a difficult world to live in

“Impossible. Lady Felicia, I swear to be faithful only to you. Please, take my hand.”

Arnold extended his hand to me with a gentle smile.
Seeing that—I slipped off my lace gloves.
And placed them on his hand.

“…Unfortunately, it seems I’m not up to the task. Please find a lady who suits these gloves.”

Arnold glanced at the gloves I handed him, then smiled and asked,

“Is this some kind of riddle? Or perhaps your way of saying ‘yes’? You’re still engaged to Felix, after all.”

“There’s no deeper meaning. It’s simply too heavy a burden for me. If you asked whether these lace gloves suit me splendidly, I’d have to say no. I believe such a lady’s item would better suit a beautiful person.”

—Yes, someone like Onee-sama, for example.

At my words, Arnold looked at me with eyes that seemed to regard something troublesome.
He probably thought I was being self-deprecating.

“You’re plenty beautiful yourself. No, more than beautiful—lovely. Above all, I’m fond of your eyes. What does the world look like through them? I want you to show me that world.”

“The world through my eyes? It’s nothing grand. The forest looks green, the sky looks blue. Isn’t it the same for you, Lord Arnold? If it’s different, perhaps you should see a doctor?”

When I answered with a bright smile, even Arnold seemed taken aback.
Seizing the moment, I performed a lady’s curtsy and left the scene.

“Then, I’ll take my leave. I hope you find a lady who suits those gloves.”

I deliberately said “lady” instead of “noble maiden.”
I can’t help but think I was a bit snide, but flattery doesn’t work on someone like him—that’s just how the world works, in both my past and present lives.

Hurrying down the corridor, I turned the corner and finally let out a sigh of relief.

(If I end up breaking off my engagement with Felix-sama, what will happen to me…)

No, what do I even want?
What I want to do, what I wish to do.
Even if someone asked me that out of the blue, I wouldn’t have an immediate answer.

No matter how much I have the memories, knowledge, and experiences of my past life, the undeniable fact is that I’ve lived as a noble lady in this life.

I couldn’t simply forget everything I’ve built over these eighteen years.

(But)

I am a daughter of the Frenzel ducal house.
As a duke’s daughter, I must marry someone and carry on this bloodline.

That is my duty, my obligation.

For these eighteen years, I’ve been raised as a noble.
I’ve enjoyed the luxuries of nobility.

Yet, to only reap the benefits of those privileges and shirk my duties… I can’t do that.
It’s precisely because I have the memories of my past life—my experiences as a working adult—that I feel this so strongly.

(Ugh… Throwing everything away just because I’ve faced injustice would be far too irresponsible, wouldn’t it? I was born as a duke’s daughter and have indulged in those privileges…)

The knowledge and refinement I could never have gained if I’d been born a commoner.
Never worrying about food, clothing, or shelter, with delicious meals served as a matter of course.

I’ve received all of that for these eighteen years.

Those are things I’ve enjoyed because I’m a noble.
To take only the privileges and abandon the obligations… I can’t do that.

(…That said, marriage… or rather, being bound by this noble way of life is something I really don’t like…)

From the perspective of a “noble daughter,” Arnold’s proposal is a dream come true.
It’s something I should accept with open arms; rejecting it as I did earlier is unthinkable.
If I told Father about this, he’d probably finalize an engagement with Arnold in no time.

After a moment’s thought, I came to an immediate conclusion.

(Marrying Arnold… no way!!)

Call it instinct or intuition.
Either way, I just don’t like it.

His offer to “save me” reeks of arrogance.
He’s like a fisherman holding a rod, waiting to reel in his catch.

If he truly wanted to help me, he wouldn’t be testing me like this.

In other words, I can’t see any sincerity in him.

Even at this point, I find myself hoping for genuine feelings from the other party.
I’m well aware I’m aiming rather high.

Still, suppressing my own emotions, being crushed by responsibility and duty, and resigning myself with “it can’t be helped” is something I hate even more.

(To avoid an engagement with Arnold, should I get engaged to someone else? If I end up an old maid, it’ll cause trouble for Father, won’t it? And who knows what the people in high society would say…)

Ah, I thought fiercely.

If I’m reborn in another world.

Even though I was born as a noble’s daughter—what a difficult world to live in…!!

My past life was far easier to live in.
At the very least, I wasn’t forced into marriage.

(Come to think of it, I was unmarried in my past life too, wasn’t I…)

I thought about trying to find a partner, but…

Being single was surprisingly fun, and I threw myself into work—before I knew it, I’d missed my chance.

(And then…)

How old was I when I died?
And what was the cause of my death…?

(…I can’t remember!!)

No matter how I try to trace the end of my past life’s memories, I can’t recall anything.

I can vaguely remember things I experienced and felt in my past life.
But the moment I try to recall details, they blur.

(I clearly remember starting rock climbing for my health in old age, or when relatives asked, “Aren’t you getting married?” and I replied, “The person I love can’t get married (note: I was talking about a 2D character),” creating an awkward atmosphere…!!)

And even how, afterward, rumors spread among my relatives that I was having an affair, and they treated me like something delicate… I remember that too!!

I remember all these useless things, but I can’t recall the important parts.

Sighing, I left the castle and headed toward the carriage stop.
First, I need to report to Father.

About my engagement with Felix-sama.
And about Onee-sama and Felix-sama.

(Since Onee-sama and Felix-sama are “fated,” they’ll take priority. Then, I—)

Left alone in the corridor after Felicia’s departure, Arnold wore a knowing smile.

“…She’s as interesting as ever.”

Her words and actions always catch him off guard.
That’s why he can’t take his eyes off her.
Looking at the lace gloves she handed him, he pressed a kiss to them.

“…I will have you, Felicia. This isn’t a declaration of war. It’s a declaration of victory.”

Because he’s already made his move.

Murmuring words she couldn’t hear, Arnold tucked her gloves into his coat pocket.

If Felix’s “fate” is Agnes—
Then his “fate” is Felicia, and that’s already decided.

Fate is just a superstition he can bend to his will.
He doesn’t believe in it, not one bit.