Chapter 9

It’s as if it were a spider’s thread

“Enough! Get out!!”

As if to say further conversation was a waste of time, Father waved his hand.

Staring at him expressionlessly, I spoke to Father.
The truth, as it pertains to him.

“Haven’t you long known what I want to say, and what Mother wants to say?”

Yet, Father keeps averting his eyes.

If he doesn’t see it, it doesn’t exist.
As if he’s convinced himself that what he ignores ceases to be.

To him, Mother and I are “inconvenient things,” existences he doesn’t want to face.
Because acknowledging us would force him to admit.

How cruel his treatment of us has been all this time.
That it was none other than he who created this frigid family dynamic.

He’d have to acknowledge all of it.

For a man as prideful as Father, that’s impossible.
So, he rejects Mother and me.

All to maintain his convenient little world.

“Explaining and persuading Mother is something you should do, Father. It’s your responsibility.”

I muttered flatly, without a trace of emotion.
Then, I lifted the hem of my dress, performed a lady’s curtsy, and turned on my heel.

“Wait, Felicia!!”

A loud thud as the desk was struck forcefully.
Turning back, I saw Father’s face flushed red as he glared at me.

“What’s with that tone?! That look in your eyes!! What have you learned in your lady’s education?!”

“All my lady’s education has taught me is to ‘obey my parents meekly.’ But I have no intention of being your puppet or your convenient pawn… Father.”

My words must have angered him further.
Before he could open his mouth to retort, I spoke.

“Mother and I are not emotionless dolls. We are human beings with minds that think and hearts that feel. It seems you weren’t aware of that, Father.”

To Father, it must look like one of his pawns has suddenly rebelled.
I won’t let myself be coerced into submission.

With that thought, I finally let a smile grace my lips.
A pure, innocent smile, one only someone as reasonably charming as me could pull off.

“Please don’t misunderstand. I sincerely bless Onee-sama and Felix-sama. For the Crown Prince of our kingdom to have found his ‘fate’—of course, I think it’s a joyous occasion. …And so, I, too, have decided to search for my own happiness.”

If taken at face value, it sounds like, “Like Onee-sama and Felix-sama, I want to find my ‘fate.’”

Of course, that’s not my true intention.

I do want to search for my own happiness.

That much is true.
But my happiness doesn’t necessarily have to come from a “fated” person.

To begin with, I don’t want to be bound by frameworks like marriage or romance—I want to find my happiness, that’s what I thought.
Happiness isn’t something handed to you; it’s something you seize for yourself.

At the very least, I have no intention of endlessly waiting for something that might never come.

☆

On my way to my room after leaving the study, I heard my name.

“Felicia.”

Onee-sama doesn’t seem to have returned from the castle yet.
…Which means, in this mansion, there’s only one person who calls me by my name instead of “Ojou-sama.”
[TL/N: お嬢様 (Ojou-sama) is a polite term meaning “young lady” or “miss,” used to address daughters of high-status families, emphasizing their refined upbringing and social standing. Its absence here highlights the intimacy or directness of Patricia addressing Felicia by name.]

I turned around slowly.
There stood a woman with the same peach-colored hair as mine.
She must have been in her room, with no plans to go out.
A thin shawl draped over her shoulders, her hair tied back in a single ponytail.
Tall for a woman.

She is none other than my mother, the Duchess of Frenzel.
Patricia Frenzel.

“Mother.”

“You’ve returned. How did things go with His Highness?”

She asked me calmly.
What Mother wants to know is likely what’s become of my engagement with Felix-sama.

To Mother, my engagement with Felix-sama is a source of pride.
If the engagement is dissolved… I thought Mother would be terribly distraught.

Mother is a true noblewoman.
That’s why, even when Father’s frequent visits to the theater and his mistress came to light, she never raised her voice or showed jealousy.

As a noble’s daughter, she believes it’s unbecoming to act without dignity.

So, she always silently reproaches Father with an icy gaze but says nothing.

Even now, Mother harbors resentment over Jennifer.
Mother says nothing in front of Father, but… in front of me, her daughter, she occasionally lets her true feelings slip.

(To Mother, Agnes Onee-sama is nothing less than proof of Father’s infidelity…)

Mother utterly despises Onee-sama.

The number of times Mother and Onee-sama have met face-to-face is minimal, limited to situations where it was unavoidable.

For instance, when Onee-sama had to forgo her debut in high society due to her frail health.
Mother went to confirm Onee-sama’s intentions, as it’s the role of the duchess to oversee her daughter’s debut.

Onee-sama, knowing Mother dislikes her, took extra care, which worsened her condition.
Father blamed Mother, and their already strained marriage grew even colder.

The Ice Lady—that’s Mother’s second name in high society.

She never so much as smiles.
Being undeniably beautiful, her constant expressionless demeanor is quite intimidating.

I hesitated for a few seconds but decided to honestly recount the conversation I had with Father.

That my engagement with Felix-sama is likely to be dissolved.
That Onee-sama and Felix-sama are likely to become engaged instead.

Hearing this, Mother furrowed her brow.

“What’s that? Are you fine with this?”

“Fine or not, it’s something Father and His Majesty will decide. Besides, Onee-sama is Felix-sama’s fate—”

“Such superficial talk doesn’t matter.”

Mother spat the words out.

“Fate, so what? Does fate mean losing all emotion and reason? If so, it’s no longer a blessing—it’s a curse.”