Chapter 62

Episode 62: I Should’ve Had More Faith

“…I see.”

So they were afraid of me.

Consumed by hatred, I’d let reason slip from my grasp. I must have looked like nothing more than a beast, unshackled and driven by instinct.

“I’ll make sure it never happens again.”

“Yes. Um… Lord Aldia, this is a personal request. Please don’t try to shoulder everything alone. Don’t forget—we’re here with you. We’re ready to fight by your side.”

“…Understood.”

It wasn’t that I didn’t trust them.

I just moved instinctively, trying to cut down every threat on my own.

That’s what makes me unfit.

Letting bloodlust take over like that…

That’s just a killer. Nothing more.

How could someone like that call himself the imperial princess’s knight?

“If something’s ever weighing on you, please talk to me. I know I might not be much help to someone like you, but I want you to rely on me more.”

“That’s not true at all. You have no idea how much your words have helped me.”

—And not just this time.

Even in my past life,

Ritzia Leite had saved me more times than I could count.

I respected her strength. I always had. Which is exactly why I should’ve fought beside her—side by side. If I had, maybe things would’ve gone better than charging ahead alone.

…I should’ve known better.

“For now, please go get some rest. Bloody and I will handle the rest of this cleanup with the remaining troops.”

As she spoke, Ritzia began checking the corpses of the fallen bandits nearby.

This wasn’t a suggestion.

It was a firm order: go home.

Right after that, Mia came and gently tugged my arm.

“Come on, Al. Let’s go.”

I couldn’t read the look in her eyes.

But just for a moment, she looked… upset.

I’d never seen that expression on Mia’s face—neither in this life nor the last.

“Yeah. Got it.”

And so, I rode back to Ardan with Mia on her wyvern.

▼▼▼

“You really freaked me out, you know? I’ve never seen you like that before!”

Flying through the sky, Mia was scolding me the whole way back.

I couldn’t argue. I was entirely in the wrong.

So I stayed quiet and just listened.

“But I guess it was kinda surprising, y’know? I didn’t think even you could lose your cool like that.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah. Back at the officer’s academy, you were always so quiet. You never fought like that before, right?”

The academy…

To her, those days were just a few months ago.

But to me—someone who’s come back from the future—it felt like a lifetime had passed.

That’s probably why I can’t remember those days as clearly as Mia can.

“Sorry… it’s kind of hazy.”

“Wow, Al. That’s some next-level memory loss. You do realize we graduated like, just a few months ago, right?”

“Yeah… right.”

It really did feel like ages ago now.

“Things have just been so hectic lately, I guess all those memories kinda faded.”

Right now—I’m happy.

That’s why I’m doing everything I can.

The days I spent at the academy were precious to me, sure. But the time I have now is even more important. I can say that with certainty.

I got another chance to laugh with my friends—

Friends I thought I’d part ways with, or even lose forever.

“Al, you’re always pushing yourself too hard. I bet you were just super tense today, huh?”

I didn’t even realize it.

To me, that tension was normal.

Let your guard down for even a second, and death’s waiting to strike.

“I’m still not there yet. I haven’t accomplished a damn thing.”

It feels like I haven’t even started.

Sure, we’ve handled a few skirmishes. But the real obstacles—the ones that matter—still haven’t shown up.

“I want a future where the people I care about can smile. Always. And if I have to give my life for that, I won’t hesitate.”

“Is that why you went all out like that today?”

“…Maybe.”

—Lately, I’ve been having nightmares.

I lose them all over again.

And this time, it breaks me for good.

That fear sits somewhere in the back of my mind, pushing me toward the quickest, surest solution—even if it’s reckless.

“Next time, you better rely on me too.”

“…Yeah.”

“It’s fine, really! Everyone who follows you, Al, they’re not weaklings. Take me, for example—your super smart and capable best friend from the academy—and all the elite troops we’ve got now. You don’t have to protect us all by yourself. You can trust us. We’re strong, y’know?”

Yeah…

They were all handpicked by me and Her Highness.

What kind of leader doesn’t even trust the people he chose?

I gave Mia a small nod.

“Thanks.”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t think I’d forgotten… but I guess I was neglecting the basics. I needed this reminder.”

I won’t let it happen again.

No more reckless charges.

I don’t want to see those sad faces again.

The wind up here on the wyvern’s back was chilly.

But for some reason, I didn’t feel cold at all.

“You’re back to your usual self, Al!”

Yeah… friends really are priceless.

Trying to protect the people you care about—that’s not wrong.

As long as you do it the right way, it’ll lead to a better future.

“…What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Heh heh!”

The tension in the air slowly melted away.

Like a shaft of sunlight breaking through a frozen sky.

“Ah! Al!”

Mia suddenly shouted like she had a great idea.

When I turned, she was grinning at me with this mischievous smirk.

“I’m totally reporting your wild rampage to Her Highness, by the way~”

“…Ugh!”

“No more making her worry, okay?”

“Y-Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind…”

Sigh… Yeah, I figured that was coming.

I closed my eyes with a resigned breath, already dreading whatever lecture the imperial princess had in store for me.